he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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