I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
