I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
