Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize