Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The beer is more important than you right now.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
