Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize