Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came in the potted fern
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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