Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
