i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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