And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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