As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
