I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
