kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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