Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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