hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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