captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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