i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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