I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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