we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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