you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
