On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I came so hard my ears popped.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize