I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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