Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
