my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So much rum. So many feels.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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