omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
