i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize