Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
