Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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