I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
