I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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