Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
