those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
