pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
