Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
