he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Randomize