return my video game
I wish I could punch you in the face.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
