I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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