guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
