I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize