this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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