She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
