She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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