On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
