Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize