It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
