No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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