it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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