Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
