were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
