Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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