But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
never play flip cup with pint glasses
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
