I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
