I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize