There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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