maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
