Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
