so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
