38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He uses pillows to masturbate.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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