have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
