I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
