I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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